Free as a Cat

When I think about work, I feel like Blitzcat. Two years ago, I picked him up from the pound. I wanted kittens, but he won me over when he stretched out in my lap on his enormous back. Just this big black fluffy ragdoll in my lap. So I took him home, changed his name from Elvis and got his new name engraved on his gold pendant.

Everything was fine til he bit me. Frequently and aggressively. He bit all my friends, too. Fortunately, he only drew blood when he bit the men. So I was thinking he must've been abused, and probably by a man. I got him the kitten you will see below (who is now a cat) to make him happy, but he hated her, so I gave her to my neighbor.

I guess the turning point came this past Christmas, when I hauled him and this other cat, Lana, to my parents' house in Fort Worth for a week. My guess is that he started trusting that I wasn't going to hurt or abandon him.

Since then, he's been himself, and wow, what a sweet animal. I mean yeah, he still throws litter out of the box and shreds the catfood bag and crawls around in the kitchen drawers and runs from me when I try to bring him back inside, but he snuggles (a little too much if you ask me), nuzzles and purrs and generally seems more...free. And he stopped biting, except those sweet love bites.

I see this as my Fort Worth visit, like I'm about to relax and trust that it's all gonna be okay.

Cuz when you work for the state, you're under tight watch. You have set hours for arrival, lunch and departure. Business casual, clock your hours. So setting my own boundaries is totally unnatural for me. For example, I arrived to work an hour later than usual this morning, but instead of just showing up like everyone else and working my own hours, I felt led to send my boss an e-mail about it last night. And leaving lunch without announcing it or being in a hurry? Forget it! I'm used to accounting for my time and scarfing down my food. Now, during lunchtime, I just stay in my office and eat at my desk because I don't know how not to be on a schedule.

Why am I afraid of this freedom? Am I afraid I'll streak through the office or sit at home all day if left to my own devices? It seems somehow similar to the way that people often stick to the legalities of religion rather than accepting the freedom Christ gives them. Some people just need boundaries...until, like Blitzcat, they just trust it.

Basically, this is a new perspective I'm seeing. I like it, and I know I'll get used to it eventually. I know I'll stop biting people and throwing up hairballs. And knowing, as they say, is half the battle.

See how Blitzcat peacefully eats next to the same little kitty cat he used to hide from?

And look! He even likes dogs!