Cat on Ice

I'm just going to come out and say it. Blitzcat is in the Persian Mafia, a family of streetwise Persian or Persian-mix cats whose mission is to put stray dogs on ice.

Blitzcat is the Big Earner in the Family, the CEO of a corporation that manufactures and distributes weapons designed to burn, break an egg, clip, do a piece of work, hit, ice, pop, put out a contract on, whack, dogs.

A few years back, Blitzcat bought ACME from Looney Tunes (which is why you never see Wile E. Coyote trying to whack the roadrunner anymore). He changed the acronym to "Anialating Carousing Muts Everywhere" and tweeked many of the designs. He sells these pieces to other feline mafias and keeps his own Family well-stocked with supplies.

You should see Blitzcat when he's in his office. When he's at home he looks like a regular cat. At work, he wears bow ties, spectacles and walks on his back legs. He's got one of those really long desks surrounded by fancy chairs. He sits menacingly at the far end.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. He came home from lunch today at the same time as me and told me this crazy story. He was NOT happy. Apparently, an associate who was tortured by a pack of dogs spilled some information about the wherabouts of the ACME warehouse. Now the whole Family is in a frenzy, hiding the supplies, guarding the place, prowling for dogs who might know something. ...Frankly, I don't think the associate is going to make it, if you know what I mean. You can't afford to make these mistakes when you're in the mafia. I mean, this cat hasn't even been sworn into the mafia yet. He's a gonner. Blitzcat's not happy to be in this situation, but he's gonna have to take care of the perpetrator. I'm not too pleased with the cat in question either. I took this picture after he told me. We were so mad, man.