Kid Rock

Used to hate kids. They took attention away from me. But man do I love me some KIDS now! If you're under the age of 14, I'm going to immediately get all Mother Goose on you and act like a big geek.

Here are my 2nd cousins, Zoe and Cole. They are the kids of cousin Casi, and I melt every time I see them.










Zoe on the right. I threatened the 10-year-old boys at the party tonight. They flirt with her, I kick them to the moon.










Here's "4-Tooth Cole." Not afraid to take out enemies with that melon head of his.

2nd Grade Rock Star

THIS...would be my 7-year-old cousin. Clad in a black AC/DC shirt, she just was not afraid to bust out with some "TNT." Though it's obvious she learned the song from her has-been dad (no offense, Wes), I have to say she's WAY cooler than me. I still don't know the words to this song.

Sorry it's all dark. I'll post some photos of her so you can see what she might've looked like had it been daytime.

Caught With My Pants Down

Today, I went to this boutique down the street to buy something for a family member who shall not be named. We are relatively the same size, so I was able to try clothes on as if I were her.

The cloth curtains were ample to hide me from public view. Unfortunately, it's hard to lock cloth curtains.

As I was straining a pair of jeans over my child-bearing hips, I heard someone across the curtain say, "Do you want to see a naked lady?" She jerked the curtain wide open, and we locked eyes while she processed what she had just done to me.

She returned me to my privacy and ran away in horror, clutching a(n obviously perverted) toddler in her arms.

I peaked my head out the curtain. Everyone in the store bugged their eyes i my direction to see what would happen next (yes, everyone had front-row tickets except the only other customer, who was obviously in another dressing room). Actually, I didn't give anyone time to guess, because I started laughing as soon as the lady averted her eyes. She apologized profusely while I explained that it was one of the funnier things that has happened to me.

In other news, I called the Cat Chat show on Martha Stewart radio and had Nadege (radio name "Hope") explain her rescue cat's digestive issues to the world. So all in all, the day has been fun. Except that I'm not making a dime!

Tonight, it's chicken wings and trivia. I'm trying to come up with a name for our team...thinking something like "Mahmud I'm a Dominate."